Avoiding the ‘F’ Word

Don’t call it Frisco.

Or San Fran, SF, The City, The Sco, Bagdad by the Bay, The City that Knows How, Fogtown or anything else but its name: Yerba Buena (good grass?) or the newer name: San Francisco.

Actually, Herb Caen, local gossip and hero, started the anti-Frisco movement in the early 50’s, I believe, so for over 100 years nobody had a problem with the nickname. Here’s an alternate explanation I like:

“Frisco” is, of course, a contraction of San Francisco, but there are other theories about its origin. Some have suggested it is an Americanization of el fresco, a term apparently used by Mexican immigrants coming to Fog City to escape the heat of the Sierra Nevada.

The late etymologist Peter Tamony traced the word all the way back to the Middle English frithsoken, meaning refuge or sanctuary. Shortened to "frisco," the term was apparently used by sailors to refer to any port where ships could be repaired.

So what is a San Franciscan? Immigrants and refugees, of course, like everywhere. But do those of us squeezed in a few blocks between the Pacific and the Bay really have a collective personality? Are the fruits and nuts native? Do those chilly summers cause frostbite patterns in the gray matter? I’m sure the fog, creeping in the ears, scrambles the synapses. Maybe a list would help answer all these questions (probably not but I’m, as you know, a compulsive list-maker).

Notable San Franciscans:
[born and raised]

Ansel Adams

Gracie Allen

Gertrude Atherton

Ralph Barbieri

Bill Bixby

Mel Blanc

Benjamin Bratt

Stephen Breyer

Pat & Jerry Brown

Darius Brubeck

Carol Channing

Donaldina Cameron

Paul Desmond

Bradford Dillman

Dom & Joe DiMaggio

Edward Dmytryk

Isadora Duncan

Clint Eastwood

Dian Fossey

Robert Frost

Jerry Garcia

Danny Glover

Rube Goldberg

Vince Guaraldi

Laird Hamilton

Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket)

William Randolph Hearst
James D. Houston
Shirley Jackson

Paul Kantner

Jack LaLanne

Bruce Lee

Jack London

Anita Loos

Greil Marcus

Jon Miller

Barry Nelson

Lloyd Nolan

Kevin Pollak

Stafford Repp

Pierre Salinger

Rob Schneider

Liev Schreiber

Alicia Silverstone

Gary Snyder

Kevin Starr

Lincoln Steffens

David Strathairn

Jeffery Tambor

Bob Weir

Stuart Whitman

Kate Wolf

Naomi Wolf

B.D. Wong

Natalie Wood

Other famous residents:
[came as adults]

Maya Angelou

Ambrose Bierce

Herb Caen

Joan Chen

Ina Coolbrith

Stanton Delaplane

Barbara Eden

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Makoto Hagiwara

Chet Helms

Lee Meriwether

Harvey Milk

Emperor Norton

Nancy Pelosi

Levi Strauss

Cecil Williams

Robin Williams

As usual, the ‘so-what’ question has no answer. There’s the list, draw your own conclusion. Because I’m too lazy to come up with it or because there is no answer? Every city has a list and character. But I think the thing is that we know what we mean, who we are, it just can’t be put into words. San Francisco, after all, is not a huge city, about the size of Jacksonville FL, but it is the oldest city in the West and a cultural center since the Gold Rush. People came here to escape from prejudice and misery at home. Australian prisoners, Peruvians and the Mormons came early on, the Chinese too, the Beats, Hippies, Gays, Mixed-race couples, Sicilians, Ship-builders, Yuppies, Dot.commers, Radicals and Free-thinkers followed. As Carlos Santana said: More artists than con artists. Yes indeed. Oh, and add him to the list.

Happy trials, Martin

Mutt: My wife's gone to the West Indies.

Jeff: Jamaica?

Mutt: No, she went of her own accord.

Jeff: My wife's gone to St Petersburg.

Mutt: Is she Russian?

Jeff: No, she's taking her time.

Mutt: My wife's had an accident on a volcano.

Jeff: Krakatoa?

Mutt: No. She broke her leg.

Jeff: My wife's gone on a singing tour of South Korea.

Mutt: Seoul?

Jeff: No, R&B.

Mutt: Y’know, that reminds me. My wife went to a very bad concert in South East Asia.

Jeff: Singapore?

Mutt: Terrible. And the rest of the band was terrible too.

Jeff: Excuse me, Mutt, are you even married?

Mutt: No, you?

Jeff: I had a girlfriend once.

Mutt: Wanna marry me? In San Francisco. They’ll change that discriminatory law pretty soon.

Jeff: I’m tempted. But if we get married, people will think we’re, y’know, flits.

Mutt: It’s San Francisco, man, same-sex heterosexual marriage is the new wave, the future, the giddy-upcoming! Perfect double transgression. So post-post-modern.

Jeff: Count me in, baby. Just don’t let down your avant garde.